hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
