The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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