I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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