Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
