The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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