I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
