Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize