You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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