Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
