wat bout pragnant strippers??
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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