apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
