just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize