We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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