She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
