Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
