He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i came on her dog
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
