OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
