Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
