Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
