I'll bet she douches with gravy.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
