Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
