Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
