i don't like sucking hair
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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