just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
