I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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