just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
