why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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