he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
