You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
