I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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