Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it's like iHOP with fire
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
