this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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