Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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