you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
