dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
