Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize