Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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