ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
operation harelip BJ is a go
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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