They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
from now on my penis is your penis
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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