this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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