you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
