But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
