My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize