You're completely useless in the revolution.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
