i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize