stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
