I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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