it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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