he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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