If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
