No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
