id be glad to
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
