My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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