false alarm. still invincible.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
