is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
