No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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