well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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