haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
