I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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