You're completely useless in the revolution.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
