well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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