Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
